My First Lemon
By PIMoSDL (Laura-chan)

Ranma 1/2 is copyrighted by Rumiko Takahashi, and tons of other people. Don't YOU wish it was copyrighted under YOU (I do)? Then you could make money in the same way that this 'fic _won't_ be making it! Oh yeah, this isn't REALLY a lemon, in the sense that it is NOT sexually explicit. Now, enjoy... ^_~


     The day didn't start out so turbulently. Then again, those are the best days to have an ...interesting day. In fact, ANY day that's described with three periods before the adjective is always one that's ...memorable. Ranma was still reeling from the shock of his day, as he tumbled into his futon with a strange, dazed shock on his face. Genma, in panda form had followed him to their room, slightly worried. At dinner, he was able to successfully eat Ranma's dinner without so much as a "hey". Ranma just sat there, drooling on occasion.
     Come to think of it, Akane didn't look so great either. In fact, that night at the dinner table, she had been poking at her curry with her chopsticks as if it were a dead animal in the street. Occasionally, she would stop and look back at Ranma. However when she did so, she would blush profusely and poke at her roadkill-curry once more. Genma didn't know what to think of the pair. *That must have been SOME fight,* he thought to himself. Genma lay on his back and allowed himself to fall asleep, barely recalling the yelling that came from Akane's room that day.
     As for Ranma, the same thought circled through his head that night, as he tried to fall sleep. Those were the same thoughts that ran through his head right after it happened. The entire incident continued to replay in Ranma's mind...

     "Come here, baby! It's time for me to feed you some lunch!" Ranma raised an eyebrow and looked up from his pushups. He watched P-chan skamper down the hall past him, and rolled his eyes. At the end of the hall and up the stairs, Ranma spotted Akane sitting on the floor with a bowl.
     *What a little--* Ranma stared purposely at the floor and continued his workout, forcing himself to move at a faster pace. The day was too nice to let something so mundane as this ruin it. Ranma wanted to enjoy the scent of the hot afternoon, anyway. He gritted his teeth, trying to block the sugary calls of, "Mmm, that's good, isn't it?" and "Don't you look so cute with that sauce on your widdle nose?" However, the words, "sauce" and "cute" in the same sentence was where Ranma drew the line.
     Ranma stopped his pushups and sat up, wiping his face with a towel. "What is you obsession with that stupid little pig, anyway, Akane?" He got up and stomped over to Akane and P-chan.
     Akane rolled her eyes and continued to feed her precious little pet. "What do you mean, 'obsession,' Ranma, he's my PET and I take CARE of him."
     "No you don't, you stuff him with so much food that I'm surprised that his 'cuuuute widdle piggy-arteries' haven't clogged up, AND you shove that 'cute widdle lecher's' face right into your chest like no tomorrow!" Ignoring Akane and P-chan's visible anger, Ranma put his hands on his hips. "I mean, if you're going to let THAT thing cop a feel, why don't you set up a booth and charge money for it? Or better yet--"
     Akane supressed the urge to smash Ranma so deep into hell that he breaks through heaven's ceiling. Instead, she decided that she had had enough of hearing Ranma. Akane picked up P-chan and headed into her room.
     "Wha?" Ranma DIDN'T have enough yet. For Once, he wanted to finish his sentence. He was sick of people never listening to all of what he had to say, no matter what it was. *This time,* he thought to himself, *things will be different!* Without knocking, Ranma turned the knob on Akane's door and pushed his way in. "You obviously didn't hear me, Akane."
     "Why do I need to listen to YOU?" Akane growled. "And who said that you could come in?"
     Ranma ignored her and kept talkling. "AS I was saying just a minute ago, if you're going to let P-chan cop a feel, why not open a booth, you sexless girl?"
     "Stupid, you can't say 'sexless' and then say that I'm a girl right after!" Akane folded her arms and began to laugh out of spite. The fact that she had outwitted him seemed to be hysterically funny at that minute.
     Ranma found it horrendously UN-funny. "Oh yeah? Well, LIKE I was saying, if you're gonna just let people put their faces in your chest, why not let Happosai have a turn? You'd probably love it!"
     Akane's laughter stopped abruptly.
     Ranma suddenly wondered why he wanted things to be different in the first place.
     Akane balled her fist and pulled her arm back.
     Ranma just sat there... until he felt the fist collide with his face.
     "SHUT UP for once!" Akane exhaled loudly and slumped down on her bed. P-chan hopped onto Akane's bed, straight into her embrace as usual. Ranma glowered at the black pig and poked him in the head.
     "It's REAL brave of you to do that right now, P-chan."
     Akane snorted, "Well, he's MUCH braver that you'd EVER be."
     "What?" Ranma stared angrily at Akane.
     "I mean, YOU'D never have the guts to do it."
     "Pssh, that's 'cause you'd pound my head in, stupid."
     "OH, so NOW you're saying that you WOULD put your face in my chest?" Akane blushed the second that she realized what she has just said.
     ", no way!" Ranma face was turning to a beautiful shade of candy apple red.
     Akane sighed in relief. "Th-that's right, you'd just pass out or something."
     "Oh yeah? No I wouldn't!"
     "PROVE IT! I DARE you to unbutton my shirt without blushing!"
     Ryouga, er, P-chan could not believe what he was hearing. Akane could not believe what she was saying. Ranma could not believe what he was doing! He clenched his fists and swallowed hard.
     "Yeah, well.." Ranma tried to look away as he reached towards Akane's shirt. He grabbed hold of the first button, fumbling for a few seconds, until the shirt relented. He continued this pathetic process until the entire shirt was done, wiping sweat off of his reddened face afterwards.
     "HAH! You were blushing!" Akane accented this phrase with a pointing finger.
     Ranma tried to cover up his face, but it was too late. "Er, yeah, well, YOU try to take off my pants without blushing!"
     Akane flinched internally. "Yeah, well, I can do that, no problem!"
     By now, P-chan was a very confused little pig. He watched, to his horror, as Akane pulled at the string that held Ranma's pants up shyly, and then squealed as he watched them fall to the ground. His head spinning, he rushed out the door of Akane's room while nobody noticed.
     "HAH!" Ranma pointed back at Akane. "YOU were blushing, too!"
     "No, I wasn't, my cheeks are naturally that red!" Akane turned her head away.
     "You're just not going to admit that you blushed, now, are you?" Ranma began to laugh spitefully, which felt funner than it sounded. "What are you going to do on our wedding night, hide in the bathroom?"
     Akane blinked, and quietly waited for Ranma to figure out what he was saying. She watched as Ranma's face slowly fell from an overbearingly angry smile to a stupefied gaze.
     "Thought so. Well, I wouldn't have to do that, because I know you don't have the guts to, er do.. you know, that."
     Ranma stuck his nose up high. "Wanna bet?"
     Akane sneered. "Nah, I know for a fact that you're not man enough, so I won't even dare you to do... it."
     "I'll show you, you--"
     Ranma stared at the clock. *Hm,* he said in his mind, *It's 2 a.m... I wonder if she's still up.* Ranma waited a couple of seconds before getting up and heading towards Akane's room.
     He quietly creeped up the stairs, looking down at his feet and watching where his steps fell. Soon after, Ranma noticed another pair of feet. Looking up, he saw Akane stading shyly before him. She put a finger to her lips and motioned for him to follow her. Ranma did so, and headed into her room after her, closing the door meticulously.
     "Hey, listen." Ranma sat down on Akane's bed and twiddled his thumbs. "I, ah, just wanted to apologize for saying all of those things to you today."
     "Er, yeah, Ranma, I wanted to do the same thing."
     "Okay, uhm, apology accepted?"
     "Yeah, me too." Akane looked down at her feet and smiled a little.
     "Thanks." Ranma headed towards the door and opened it. "Oh, and Akane?"
     Ranma put one hand behind his neck and smiled. "You're really cute when you f***."


Author's notes:
Hm.. I don't know what to say about this one... ^^; But I kept true to my promise: it wasn't sexually explicit, neh? Anyway, do you want to know what happens to Ryouga? Keep reading....

********************Are you SURE you want to know?*******************
All right, then....

     Ukyou Kuonji hummed to herself as she placed a trash bag into the alley next to the Ucchan. She dusted her hands off, and headed back in to her shop. While doing so, a sudden black object launched itself at her face. Ukyou could have sworn that she heard it say, "Cook me!" in a screeching voice, but decided against believing so until she looked down and found a little black pig, sizzling on the grill.
     "That's funny," she said in a puzzled tone, "did I order this much pork from the meat market today?" Ukyou shrugged. "Ah well,"
     Within a matter of minutes, her pork okonomiyaki special sold out.

-PIMoSDL (mail comments and stuff to