Disclaimer: Well, we've said it before. But Ranma 1/2 belongs to Rumiko Takahashi... Now there really isn't much to say to that. Anyway, you really don't have to be a physicist to know that in order to get what is going on, you have to have read the FIRST TWO PARTS OF OUR FRIGGIN' SERIES! OKAY? So, have fun, and no neck spasms, all right? Enjoy!
Scene: The Tendo Dojo. The Tendos, and the Saotomes are sitting around the dinner table, except for Kasumi, who is standing before the group, next to Dr. Tofu.
Ranma: (thinking) Aw, geez, if Kasumi's gonna be busy all day, who's gonna do the cooking?
Akane: Wow, Kasumi, I'm happy for you! (thinks to herself) Hm, what a disappointment. I just thought that she and Dr. Tofu were going to get married... oh well...
Soun: (crying) Oh, I'm so proud of my little girl! Oh you try so hard to make your father happy!! Oh! (continues to cry)
Kasumi: My, I wish it was that easy, though...
Nodoka: Whatever do you mean, dear?
Kasumi: (fidgeting) Well, it's just that I don't want to leave the house knowing that there is nobody to take on the cooking, and the cleaning, and-
Nodoka: (interrrupting) Well, you know, it's been a while since I've had to take care of an entire household... and it's not like I can go back to where Ranma and I used to live...
Genma Panda: (holding up a sign) My, what a good idea!
Nabiki: You would do that for us, Mrs. Saotome?
Ranma: Gee, Mom, that's great! (looks to Akane) Man, you've gotta taste her sukiyaki!
Akane: Yeah... (thinks to herself) I didn't even think of that... I could have been the one to cook for the family... hm... well, maybe that isn't such a good idea... oh well. Hey, Mrs. Saotome?
Nodoka: Yes, dear?
Akane: I was wondering if you could maybe help me learn how to cook a little better?
[The entire household double-face-faults.]
Ranma: (thinking) Man, it's bad enough when Akane makes dinner only on occasion... just the thought of her making it on a regular basis... it's too much to bear!
Akane: ...don't all cheer me on at once...
Scene: Nagoya. The former Saotome Home. A woman in her mid-forties knocks on the door of the house.
Woman: Curse it all! Of course those people wouldn't be here! There is a huge hole in the side of our house, and the Saotomes aren't anywhere to be found! I've never trusted them from the beginning!
[Enter a man, who appears to be the woman's husband.]
Man: Are you sure that nobody's home, Michiko?
Michiko: Yes; it's either that or nobody's answering the door, Akhiro.
Akhiro: Well, it can't be that, because I talked to the other neighbors, and they all said something about a fight taking place here.
Michiko: Well, do any of them know how our house recieved that enormous hole through the living room?
Akhiro: You wouldn't believe me even if I told you. Someone said that a giant Land Rover went through this wall.
Michiko: Then maybe we should go inside their house to look for a clue as to the whereabouts of the Saotomes..
Akhiro: Perhaps you're right, darling...
Scene: The Tendo Dojo. Kasumi is standing next to the door, with a dufflebag in her hands. She also stands before the rest of the household, as she tries to go out the door.
Soun: (bawling at Kasumi's feet) Oh! you will promise to call often now, won't you, Kasumi?
Akane: C'mon, now Dad, Kasumi is only going to be gone for a few hours. It'll be just like when she was still going to high school...
Ranma: Yeah, Mr. Tendo, don't worry about it...
Kasumi: Oh, my. It looks like I'm going to be late for my first day... I must be off. All right?
Soun: O-okay, ah, goodbye, Kasumi. Have a nice day, okay?
Nodoka: (pulling Soun away from Kasumi) Okay, we've got to let Kasumi be off now.
Kasumi: Bye, everybody. See you later. (turns around and starts walking)
[Soun continues to bawl as Kasumi turns a corner and out of sight.]
Genma Panda: (holding up a sign) Get a grip.
Scene: Dr. Tofu's clinic. As Kasumi enters the building, a wave of frantic patients rush out of the clinic.
Kasumi: Oh, my, I guess they're all feeling better now. (opens a door) Dr. Tofu! Are you here? (a glass is heard breaking in the distance)
[Enter Dr. Tofu.]
Kasumi: Why, hello there, Dr.Tofu.
Dr. Tofu: (holding a broken mug) H-h-h-hello there K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-Kasumi, my. What an amazing coincidence that we should meet here, of all places.. heh heh...
Kasumi: Well, now I know I'll feel comfortable interning here. I can count on your silliness to take away the nervousness I'm feeling.
Dr. Tofu: (looking at an eye chart) My, K-Kasumi, that's an interesting dress you're wearing.
Kasumi: I guess. Do you like it?
Dr. Tofu: Of course I do, K-Kasumi..
Kasumi: That's nice... now, what do we do first?
Dr. Tofu: Um...ah...w-w-ell Ka-Kasumi...you, you ne-need to...
Kasumi: Yes? (Turns to look behind her as a patient tries to get away) Why hello...Is there something we can do for you?
Patient: Um...You WORK here now?!
Kasumi: Why yes...
Dr. Tofu: You can handle th-this patient K-K-K-K-K-K-Kasumi...can't you?
Patient: (sighing) Thank God.
Kasumi: What was that?
Patient: Oh nothing. You see, I have this problem with my...
Scene: Dr. Tofu is sitting in his office, stairing at a pressure point chart.
Dr. Tofu: (Thinking) I have to calm down...I can't stop thinking about Kasumi...Maybe these pressure points will help. (Pokes a point near his temple and blinds himself) I CAN'T SEE!!!!!!!
Kasumi: Oh my! What's the matter, Dr. Tofu?
Dr. Tofu: (Get's up and tries to walk to up towards her, but slams into a wall) Ouch!
Kasumi: Oh, Dr. Tofu what did you do?
Dr. Tofu: I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-(hits another point that makes him pass out)
Kasumi: Oh my, Oh my, Oh my!
[Enter Akane and Ranma]
Akane: We just came to see... What happend to Dr. Tofu, Kasumi?
Ranma: Looks like that she was just too much woman for him...(Akane punches him in the face )
Ranma: Well, you see...(looks at Akane as she sends him a death glare) Dr. Tofu is in lo-
Ranma: WHAT?!? (sends a death glare back at Akane)
Akane: (Smiles angelically and dramatically swings her hips as she walks over to Ranma) You still have that date that you promised to take me on...
Ranma: (freezes) Wha-wha-wha.. huh? (begins to twitch nervously) D-date?
Akane: (runs a finger up Ranma's chest, as his eyes widen) Don't you remember that little date ( :) ) you promised to take me on, RANMA? (grabs his pigtail and drags him away)
Ranma: (thinking) She's so... cute...
Kasumi: ...well that was strange... I guess I had better get him a pillow.
Scene: Outside of Dr. Tofu's clinic. Ranma is still nervously twitching, as Akane looks at him.
Akane: So what's wrong with you anyway?
Ranma: ..uh... (gulps) so, ah, where are we going?
Akane: What are you talking about, Ranma? (folds her arms)
Ranma: ..Uh, our date...
Akane: I WAS ONLY DOING THAT TO GET US OUT OF THERE, YOU IDOT!
Ranma: (Looking creastfallen) How un-cute of you.
Akane: (blushing) You mean you actually WANTED to go on that date?
Ranma: ...well... I thought that YOU really wanted to go on that date, so I thought, why not?... but if you didn't mean it...
Akane: Well, if you're willing to pay...
Ranma: (checking his pockets) uhm, okay... (thinking) That's not fair... oh well...
Scene: Dr. Tofu opens his eyes and sees Kasumi stairing down at him.
Dr. Tofu: (Notices he is NOT wearing glasses ) K-Kasumi! What... What happened?
Kasumi: You hit a pressure point that made you go blind, Dr. Tofu. Why were you trying those on yourself? You know that is dangerous, Dr. Tofu.
Dr. Tofu: Well...I...Was.....(Thinking ) I was trying not to think about you, Kasumi...
Kasumi: You were what?
[Another patient walks into the clinic, and Dr. Tofu runs to him]
Dr. Tofu: Can I help you?
Patient: I see you already have a patient...(Turns to run, when Dr. Tofu grabs him by the arm )
Dr. Tofu: No, (Smiling) K-K-K-Kasumi is my new nurse.
Patient: Your n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nurse?
Dr. Tofu: That's right. Now, what can I help you with?
Patient: I have this bad back problem and I...(They go into the examination room)
Dr. Tofu: (From the room) K-Kasumi? Can you bring me the herbs in my top drawer?
Kasumi: Yes, Dr. Tofu...
Scene: A nearby carmival. Ranma and Akane are just arriving. Ranma pays the fee to get in, and Akane pulls him over to a ride that looks rather scary.
Akane: Let's get on, Ramna (pulls him towords the ride) C'mon, it'll be fun.
Ranma: (Looking wary ) Are you sure this is safe?
Akane: Yes! I love this ride! Kasumi always takes me on it!
Ranma: KASUMI!? She goes on this? (Turns green looking at it)
Akane: Don't tell me you get sick on rides...Oh geeze, Ranma, you don't like rides?
Ranma: I like rides...except the ones that go upside down.
Akane: Oh come on Ranma... Please try it...
Ranma: Well there was this one time when...
Scene: Flashback. A little three-year-old Ranma is running around a huge carnival with a candy apple in his hand. Ranma stops at a ride similar to the one with Akane and Genma pushes him into it.
Ranma: I don't wanna go on this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Genma: It's training, my boy.
[Ranma goes on the ride and when he gets off, he is very green and is stumbling around ]
Scene: Ranma is still looking green, but Akane grabs his hand.
Ranma: Okay...You sure you want to do this?
Akane: Yes! You'll be fine...
Ranma: Okay... (Watches Akane get on, and sits next to her )
[The ride starts and immediately goes upside down ]
Akane: See this isn't so bad, is it Ranma?
Ranma: N-n-n-no... I guess not...
[ The ride goes upside down and sideways, making Ranma look like his natural color was green ]
Akane: Ranma? You okay? (Akane screams over the noise of the ride and the screaming people)
[Ranma looks over at her and nods. The ride soon comes to a stop and Ranma bounds off and runs into Nabiki by accident. He bareley agknowledges her as he speeds off toword the nearest rest room. ]
Nabiki: (laughing) You've never looked better, Ranma!
Akane: (Getting off the ride ) Nabiki? What are you doing here?
Nabiki: I had Kuno-baby take me. See? (Points to her left ) He's over there trying to win me that teddy bear... (looking discusted as Kuno repiditly fails ) Kuno-Baby, you're just too pathetic...
Akane: Did you see where Ranma went?
Nabiki: Yes I did...So you two on a date? I knew that that little trip you went on would help...yep thanks to me your-
Akane: It's NOT A DATE! (Doesn't notice Ranma behind her )
Nabiki: Well Ranma, you look absolutely revolting (laughs) Don't like rides very much, do you?
Ranma: Uh...I...I look fine, OKAY?!
Nabiki: Oh sure you do...You know that even Kasumi can handle that ride...
Ranma: I can handle it FINE!
Kuno: Greetings Akane Tendo... (Turns to Nabiki ) For you, my love. (Hands her a teddy bear)
Nabiki: Gee, thanks...
Ranma: C'mon Akane...Lets go on another ride... (pulls her away)
Nabiki: (In a sing song voice) Oh Kuno-Baby?
Kuno: What is it, my love?
Nabiki: I need a favor...
Scene: The Tendo Dojo. Soun sits hopelessly in front of a shogi board, all alone. Meanwhile, Genma watches Nodoka, who is making lunch.
Soun: ...now, there's no way I can lose...
Genma: (thinking) And there she is... aah, I can't remember the last time I've tasted her cooking... my, she just seems to glow, doesn't she?
Nodoka: Who's there? (puts her cutting knife down and turns around) Oh. It's you.
Genma: (surprised) OH! Well, ah, I, uhm, so.... how are you today?
Nodoka: Didn't you ask me that when we woke up this morning?
Genma: (wavering) Uh, well, I was just trying to raise a conversation... (fidgets)
Nodoka: Oh...Well then, I'm fine...Would you go ask Soun if he's ready to eat?
Genma: (disappointedly) Why, yes... of course dear..
Nodoka: (to herself) Am I really dear to you?
Genma: (smiles as he turns around) Hmm? What was that?
Nodoka: Nothing... just thinking...
Genma: What was it you said...?
Nodoka: Can't my own thoughts be private?
Genma: Not when you say them out loud. Now, what did you say?
Nodoka: That, Husband, is none of your business.
Scene: The fair. Kuno and Nabiki head towards Ranma and Akane, who are at a nearby booth. Ranma is searching for money to buy some corn on the cob for himself and Akane.
Akane: (turning around) Oh, hello there, Nabiki! Are you having fun?
Nabiki: (gives Akane a sly look and speaks under her breath) Oh, I will...
Ranma: What was that?
Kuno: (interrupting) My, what a beautiful day it is! Oh, what bliss it would be to be able to feel the wind's chilling fingers running through my hair- (points to a nearby ride) while sitting there... (notices a hopeful look in Akane's eyes) Akane Tendo... (puts a hand on her shoulder) whil'st thou appreciate my company?
Akane: (looks to Ranma for approval, as he nods) All right! ...as a gesture of friendship, of course?
Kuno: (nods) Why, of course, my lady... (turns to Nabiki and winks)
[Exit Kuno and Akane.]
Nabiki: So, Ranma, what should we do?
Ranma: Gee, I dunno.
Nabiki: Well, ya wanna win me some prizes?
Ranma: Uh, sure why not? (rolls up his sleeve) So where should we go to first?
Scene: In line for the roller coaster. Akane and Kuno watch Ranma and Nabiki go to a nearby booth.
Akane: Hm. How nice...
Kuno: What is that?
Akane: Ranma's gonna win some prizes for Nabiki while you and I go on this ride.
Kuno: What a friendly gesture.
Akane: Oh, by the way...
Kuno: What is it?
Akane: I know I really should be on a date with Ranma, but thank you for taking me on this ride...
Kuno: Thank me not, Akane Tendo, until after the ride is over. (smiles)
Scene: Dr. Tofu is checking a patients chart, when Kasumi walks in.
Kasumi: Dr. Tofu?
Dr. Tofu: (Breaking the clipboard that holds the chart) Y-y-y-e-e-s-s-s Kasumi?
Kasumi: I need to know how to administer a shot for the patient in room two.
Dr. Tofu: Well...Let me show you....
Scene: The fair. Akane and Kuno are heading for their tenth ride, as Nabiki watches.
Akane: (laughing) This is great, Kuno! What did you think of the last one?
Kuno: (laughing) Yes, that was quite exhilarating, Akane. Do you think this one will even compare to the latter?
Akane: (looks over at Ranma) Hm.. he's doubled the amount of prizes you've won for Nabiki...
Kuno: (looking at Ranma) Yes, he has.
Akane: He hasn't won ME anything yet...
Kuno: (to himself) How dare he... it's almost like he's making a mockery out of me... (louder) Akane, let us go see what those two are up to...
Akane: Yeah. (both exit the line and head over to Nabiki and Ranma)
Ranma: (taking a pinwheel from a vendor) Here, take this one, too.
Nabiki: All right... (looks past him) Oh! Hi there, Akane, did you have fun?
Ranma: (in a low tone) Yeah, after your tenth ride?
Akane: I heard that! (stalks over to Ranma) Oh, and how about you? Winning all of those prizes for Nabiki, when you haven't even gotten ME a thing yet! YOU and I were supposed to be here together, not you and Nabiki!
Ranma: OH, REALLY? Well you and Kuno looked pretty COZY up there on all of your TEN rides!
Kuno: (to Nabiki) Isn't this the opposite of your desired affect, my love?
Nabiki: Don't worry, this is just the beginning.
Akane: (now yelling) ...FINE THEN! (looks at Kuno and grabs his wrist) C'mon! Let's go on another RIDE!
Kuno: Well, all right, Akane Tendo lead on...
Nabiki: (thinking) Wait a minute! This isn't supposed to happen!!!
Ranma: FINE then, you go and cuddle up to Kuno on another ride! (grabs Nabiki by the wrist) Let's go!
Nabiki & Kuno: (yelling) NOW HOLD ON A MINUTE!
Scene: Dr. Tofu is trying (unsuccessfully) to teach Kasumi how to administer a shot.
Dr. Tofu: Now you see, Kasumi, you have to...(breaks the syringe in half)
Kasumi: Oh you mean like this? (Breaks her syringe in half)
Dr. Tofu: No, not like that...(pokes himself with another one)
Kasumi: Oh like this? (Pokes him with her syringe)
Dr. Tofu: No...You....s-e-e Ka-a-asumi...you have to... (pokes the Shiatsu spot that knocks himself out with his finger)
Kasumi: Oh, my... now what did he do that for?
Scene: The fair. Nabiki, Kuno, Ranma, and Akane all stand in a closed circle.
Akane: RANMA SAOTOME!! YOU ARE AN IDIOT! (a nearby couple's eyebrows raise, and then they slowly turn their heads to watch the impending fight)
Nabiki: Now, both of you-
Kuno: -should calm down a bit and--
Nabiki: (yelling) TAKE SOME TIME TO COLLECT YOURSELVES!
Ranma: (folding his arms) Yeah?
Kuno: Now then, are we all calm?
Ranma & Akane: No.
Nabiki: Good then, let's all go do something... (looks into the distance) How about we go on the ferris wheel?
Ranma: (gulps) Y-you mean the DOUBLE ferris wheel? (looks to Nabiki) Uh, you think I'll get sick?
Nabiki: No way, Saotome... now c'mon! Let's go.
[All head to the line at the ferris wheel.]
Attendant: Okay, who's next? (looks to Ranma, and Nabiki) You two! (Akane and Ranma turn around as he grabs Nabiki and Ranma, and throws them into a car) There you go. Next!
Akane: SO THAT'S how it is! (takes Kuno by the hand and drags him to the next car) Two can play at this game!
Kuno: (yelling to Nabiki) FORGIVE MY INACTION, MY LOVE!
Nabiki: (yelling back) NO PROBLEM KUNO!
[The attendant pulls the lever that finally starts the ride. As the wheels pass, Ranma and Akane pointedly glare at each other.]
Ranma: (thinking) So, that's how you want it Akane? You just can't last for a little bit without being mad at me for one thing of another! Well then, take this! (as the wheels pass again, Ranma makes sure that Akane sees him putting his arm around Nabiki. Kuno and Akane notice this and both glare at Ranma)
Akane: I don't believe that! (looks to Kuno) I don't believe he did that!
Kuno: Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Akane?
Akane: Sure am!
[Kuno and Akane wait until their car passes Ranma and Nabiki's; then both throw their arms around each other, waiting for the desired effect.]
Ranma & Nabiki: (looking at each other) DID YOU SEE THAT? SURE DID!
[Ranma and Nabiki wait until their car passes Kuno and Akane's car. Then, Ranma puts his other arm around Nabiki, as she wraps both of her arms around Ranma's waist. Akane's eyes widen as do Kuno's.]
Akane: WHAT?!?!?!? RANMA, YOU'RE GONNA DIE! (gets up, and jumps to Ranma and Nabiki's car) RANMA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Ranma: (in shock) AKANE, WHAT THE-- (Akane wraps her hands around Ranma's neck and begins to slam his head into the car.)
Nabiki: Wow, with the power of love, you can do anything-- (Akane picks up Nabiki and looks at Kuno)
Akane: Here, catch! (throws a screaming Nabiki)
Kuno: (catches Nabiki) Hello my love... (Nabiki slaps Kuno hard on the face) OWWW! My love! Why did you do that?
Nabiki: Because (almost silently) you had your arm around my sister. (sits as far away from Kuno as she possibly can, and folds her arms) Hmmph.
Akane : How could you do something like that to me, Ranma? We are supposed to be on a date, not you and Nabiki!
Ranma: Well, maybe if you would have just went on ONE ride with Kuno instead of ten would have been fine!!
Akane: Well, It's not MY FAULT THAT YOU DON'T GO ON RIDES! You shouldn't have won all of those prizes for Nabiki! you didn't even get me anything! --And I'm you're fiancee!
Ranma: (voice softens) You... you really consider me as your fiancee?
Akane: Well, I DID until you started winning Nabiki all those prizes!
Ranma: You MORON! I only won one of those for Nabiki! (points at a nearby stuffed dog).
Akane: Wh- What?
Ranma: Geez, you always jump to these stupid conclusions, like I'm some kinda evil pervert that only wants to ruin your life, 'cause I got nothing better to do.
Akane: Well... (looks down at her feet)
[Kuno is attempting to put his arm around Nabiki.]
Kuno: (desperately) ...If you forgive me just once, I'll... would you like a whole new wardrobe, my princess?
Nabiki: I am not your prin-cess, Kuno, and I have my own clothes, thank you.
Kuno: Wha-? Well, how about my unrelented apologies, and... a brand-new Land Rover?
Nabiki: Walking is good exercise for me...
Kuno: (bowing his head) Please forgive me, my love... I thought that you... that you.. well you see... it-it's just that Saotome has already stolen Akane Tendo and the Pig-Tailed Girl from-- ARRGH!
Nabiki: (looking stunned) Wow, Kuno-Baby, I've never seen you at a loss for words before... (sighs) Well, I guess you can touch me now... (looks away as Kuno laughs insanely and throws his arms around Nabiki) ...
[Both look to see how Ranma and Akane are doing.]
Ranma: Oh, come on!
Akane: Okay, so maybe you're not a jerk on purpose...
Ranma: (smiling cutely) That's right, I'm not...
Akane: (slightly leaning towards Ranma) ...and you do go to a lot of trouble rescuing me all the time...
Ranma: Heh, heh, yeah... I do, don't I? (thinking) She's so cute when she gets like this...
[The ride finally ends, and Ranma, Akane, Nabiki, and Kuno eventually exit the cars.]
Scene: Dr. Tofu's clinic. Dr. Tofu is laying down on a cot that Kasumi had prepared for him. She looked over him, smiling. He opened his eyes and smiled back.
Kasumi: Dr. Tofu? You seem to keep doing that...Is there something bothering you? You can talk to me about it, if you'd like...
Dr. Tofu: (Sitting up) No problem, K-Kasu-Kasumi...
Kasumi: Akane always tells me I'm a good listener. Just remember that.
Dr. Tofu: Okay...
Kasumi: Now, I think I figured out how to administer a shot. (She rolls up her sleeves) You see, Dr. Tofu... Well...I don't know if this is right... (She gives a perfect shot to the dummy she made)
Dr. Tofu: That's great, Kasumi. Just great...you really must have a talent for it... (thinking) Since I'm no help!
Kasumi: Oh no, (Smiles) it was the teacher... you see, Dr. Tofu...while you were unconscious I skimmed through the book on the proper way of giving shots...
Dr. Tofu: Oh...well then how did I help you?
Kasumi: Since I couldn't learn directly from you, I decided to look at your notebook. It explained the whole thing in detail.
Dr. Tofu: W-Well, Kasumi...We have to get back to work...Is there anyone here?
Kasumi: Yes about three people are waiting for you...They all agreed that they wanted to be seen by you, while I did something else in another room.
Dr. Tofu: Well, alright. Um...Kasumi?
Dr. Tofu: Wh-Wha-What t-t-t-ti-i-i-m-m-m-...um...a-r-e- you h-a-ving dinner in the c-clin-clinic with me?
Kasumi: I wouldn't want to be an inconvenience...
Dr. Tofu: N-N-N-N-N-N-o not at all...
Kasumi: Let me cook, though...
Dr. Tofu: Um okghruiay...
Kasumi: I'll take that as an okay...
Scene: In front of the Tendo Dojo. Ranma opens the gate and motions for Akane to go ahead of him.
Akane: (looks at Ranma skeptically) What are you doing?
Ranma: Well, you're suppose to go first, 'cause you know...you're a girl...
Akane: (Still skeptical) What are you going to do?
Ranma: I'm HOLDING THE DOOR FOR YOU, you dope!
[Ranma and Akane are facing each other, and they begin to close in for a kiss]
Ranma: I had a good time today...
Akane: So did I, except for that, but thanks for the prizes...I... (The wind teases her hair) It is kinda cold out here... (They step EVEN closer together)
Ranma: Well, we could go in, if you want...
[Akane drops her prizes to throw her arms around his waist as Ranma nervously puts his arms around her.]
Akane: This is nice...(looks up at Ranma)
[They are about to kiss when Akane notices a brick flying towards Ranma and Akane. Ranma turns, in time to take the hit of the brick instead of Akane, but not in time enough to dodge it. Ranma grunts and falls to the ground.]
Akane: W-What? (looks up as she notices a couple, in their mid-forties, glaring down at her) Who are you...? AND WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?
Michiko: I'm terribly sorry to ruin your moment, dear girl.. (in a quieter voice) well, I'm sure you can have another...
Akane: Well, actually, I don't think so...
Akihiro: (ignoring Akane) Anyway, we needed to get his attention... would you happen to know exactly where his mother is?
Akane: Well, (bows) of course... (picks up Ranma) please, follow me.
Michiko: (to Akihiro) What an interesting girl... (Akihiro nods)
[All enter the house, and Nodoka notices. She gasps and runs to Ranma.]
Nodoka: MY GOD! What happened to Ranma?
Akihiro: I am sorry for the inconvenience... but we (motions to Michiko) have a matter of the highest importance.
Nodoka: (glaring) What exactly have you done to my son? (Turns to Akane) Is he all right?
Akane: I'll take him to his room... (heads over towards Ranma's room)
Nodoka: Akane, actually, you might want to head over to your room...
Akane: (confusedly) What? What for?
Akane: (neck begins to twitch) Spill it.
Genma: It's just that well with Nodoka living here now, and all, we figured -
Akane: (dropping Ranma) YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!
Soun: Why, yes, Akane... now that Nodoka lives here, Ranma simply can't-
Akane: (yelling) RANMA SLEPT IN THE SAME ROOM AS HIS PARENTS LAST NIGHT!! WHY CAN'T HE DO IT AGAIN?
Soun: Well, it doesn't matter anyway, because Ranma is your fiancee. Besides, I'm sure Nodoka and Genma would like to be alone, heh, heh...
[Nodoka stares daggers and Genma begins to look nervous.]
Soun: ...then again, maybe not. (shakes his head) Well, anyway, it doesn't matter! You two will share that room!
Michiko: OUR HOUSE HAS BEEN WRECKED AND YOU IDIOTS BICKER ABOUT SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS!!
Akane: (in realization) ...uh oh.
Scene: Dr. Tofu's clinic. The living quarterss. Kasumi and Dr. Tofu are having dinner.
Kasumi: (Looking at Dr. Tofu puts a chop stick into his mouths and eats it) I hope you like this, Dr. Tofu. I didn't have that much time to make a meal like I used to at home.
Dr. Tofu: It's I-great... (Put the other chopstick in his mouth and begins to chew.)
Kasumi: In youir note book, Dr. Tofu, there is a lot written on the Shiatsu pressure points.
Dr. Tofu: D-o-o-o-o-o you need to use them for something?
Kasumi: Yes...as a matter of fact, Dr. Tofu I do...can I borrow the book for tonight so that I can see what I can do about this little problem...?
Dr. Tofu: I-is there anything I can do besides give you the book?
Kasumi: No thank you Doctor. I had a great day...except when you made yourself faint twice. I saw it in your note book... you wrote not to test those on yourself...
Dr. Tofu: Yes, I did. But when there's nobody else around I feel like I-I-I-I-can handle the consiquences...
Kasumi: I see... you could have tried them on me, Dr. Tofu... I am always a willing sport... (smiles)
Dr. Tofu: I could never...
Kasumi: Try one on me right now...
Dr. Tofu: But there is nothing wrong...
Kasumi: I have to learn Dr. Tofu I think I can handle it....
Dr. Tofu: Why don't you take this home for tonight and study it... Then t-t-omorrow... we can go o-v-er this?
Kasumi: Yes, doctor. (She finishes her dinner, gets up and walks to Dr. Tofu )
Dr. Tofu: Leaving so soon, Betty?
Kasumi: (Smiling) I'm Kasumi...I'm not leaving yet (Sighs as she squeezes his shoulder ) I'll get the dishes for you...
Scene: Akane's room. Akane pulls Ranma up the stairs and drags him to his futon.
Akane: Here you go! (Thows him and hears a 'bwee' sound) What is that? (Pushes Ranma over and notices a squished P-Chan going to bite Ranma) Hey! Be a good pig... Ranma is well um... This is his room now too... (P-Chan's EYES get REALLY big )
Ranma: (Coming around ) Uhn... where am I?
Akane: Shhh... (glares and looks to one side) You're in our room...
Akane: This is our room, Ranma.
Ranma: (thinking) Did they marry us when I was out? Th-that means that we have to-- (begins to get a nosebleed) Whu- I must be in a dream... (covers up his nose) that's it a little dream... Akane please WAKE ME UP!
Akane: YOU ARE AWAKE! Now, your parents decided to put you in here, since your mother came back and well...
Ranma: Oh... I see... (thinking) So, then we're not married... What happened?
Akane: I destroyed someone's house... the ones downstairs... They are here and they are not happy at all... Ranma: Well lets go downstairs and see what's going on...
[Ranma grabs Akane's hand and she grabs P- Chan ]
[As they head downstairs]
P- Chan looks at the two and face faults...
Scene: Ranma, Akane and P-Chan are now downstairs as they see Michiko and Akihiro standing before the rest of the household.
[We see P- Chan going into the bath room and fully clothed Ryoga comes out.]
Michiko: Now, we all agree that a Land Rover has went through our house, and that it is now destroyed. Now, I must ask you all... who was driving at the time?
Akane: (gasps and steps foreward) I'm sorry... (bows her head) I was drugged at the time...
[Michiko looks at Akihiro and nods her head.]
Michiko & Akihiro: THEN IT IS YOU WHO MUST PAY! (both lunge at a very surprised Akane as Ranma jumps in front of her to block their blows.
[Meanwhile, Ryoga's eyes fill with tears as he slowly backs into a corner to collect himself.]
Ryoga: (thinking) ...This is too ironic... but what do I do?
Ranma: Listen, I don't know who in the hell you two are, but if you want to fight Akane, you'll have to go through me first!
Soun: (speaking with a microphone) OH RANMA, HOW CHIVALROUS OF YOU! HOW BRAVE!!! (begins to sob, and stops) ...but I'm afraid that I can't just let you do that-
Soun: It is my job to protect all of my daughters... (gets into a fighting stance)
Genma: Gotcha covered, Tendo!
Soun: (nods and attacks Akihiro) How dare you attack a poor, defenseless, girl like that!
Akane: (turns to look at Soun) HEY!! WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? (Michiko delivers a kick straight to her stomach, and Akane falls back) OWW!
Ranma: AKANE! (glares at Michiko and attacks her) Don't EVER do that again! KATCHUU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!
Michiko: (falls back) You don't want to die, do you boy? (stands back up) AKIHIRO!!
Akihiro: ...Michiko, we can't... (Michiko glares at him) he's just about the same age as our boy.. we can't ... (battle aura emerges from Michiko) ...all right...
Ranma: WHAT are you two blabbing about?
[Akihiro leaps over to Michiko and both stand back to back. Both eventually turn to face Ranma and a series of different colored battle auras emerge from their bodies. Ranma begins to lift an eyebrow.]
Ranma: (thinking) What the--
[Ranma's thoughts are suddenly interrupted by a white blast that shoots out from Michiko's hands. Ranma is immediately rendered unconscious. Ryoga emerges from practically out of nowhere.]
Ryoga: MOM!! DAD!! DON'T DO IT!! (He runs to push Ranma out of the range of the blast. Both Ranma and Ryoga are knocked out through the wall of the house.) Akane: WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT?
Michiko: (drops to her knees) WAS THAT OUR SON, AKIHIRO?!? (turns to Akihiro) DID WE--
Akihiro: (bows his head down, as tears begin to drop off of his face) ...you had to use it...
Akane: Ryoga... RANMA!! (runs outside and throws her body over Ranma's) ...you idiot...
Michiko: (voice staggers) Th- that couldn't have been... AKIHIRO, WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN YEARS!! HOW COULD HE HAVE GOTTEN HERE? (runs outside and kneels before Ranma and Ryoga, next to Akane)
[The rest of the parents follow Michiko outside and look over the bodies. Kasumi arrives and her eyes widen.]
Kasumi: Wha- I... I'm going to call Dr. Tofu...
Soun: (interrupting) Uh, no, Kasumi, I will... you stay here...
Kasumi: Now let me get that notebook... (Retrives it from her duffle bag) Hummm....Now what happened?
[Enter Nabiki and Kuno]
Nabiki: Yeah what DID happen?!
[Genma jumps into the pond and emerges with a sign that says 'I'm just an ordinary panda' Genma sobs]
Nodoka: (Giving Genma-Panda a death glare) I guess I'll have to tell this...The Hibiki's arrived from Nagoya to seek revenge for the house that Akane distroyed.
Nabiki: Oh thats so funny...! (laughs) I simply can't stop laughing. ( laughs )
Akane: (Stands up and walks over to Nabiki) How can you laugh at this? Ranma is dead... HOW DARE YOU?! (Slaps Nabiki across the face, with all her might. Nabiki slides back onto the ground and puts a hand on her face in shock. Quickly, she swipes a tear away from her face. Kuno runs to comfort her, and she pushes him away.)
Nabiki: (trying not to sob) ...I... get away from me, I'm okay..
Kuno: (looks up at Akane) And why did you that, Akane Tendo... Nabiki knew not about the unfortunate death of your fiancee...
Kasumi: I see...Then it was a battle aura that killed Ranma?
Nodoka: How did you know? It was a white blast that came out of nowhere... (glares at Michiko, who is sobbing over Ryoga's body)
Kasumi: Well, I could see the color of the ash from where they were-
Dr. Tofu: Yes, they're variant shades of gray... a composition of several battle auras, combined into one solid blast. The effects are usually dependent on what kind of people use it, and what kind of people are attacked by it....
Akane: (eyes light up) Then, what you're saying is Ranma may not be dead?
Kasumi: Why, yes... There is a chance that he might be alive.
Dr. Tofu: ...but we have to wait until-
Michiko: HEY! Does anyone even realize that MY son is hurt, and maybe dead as well?
Nodoka: (hands her sword to Genma Panda) Hold this. (walks over to Michiko and speaks quietly) You have no place to complain... this (points to Ranma and Ryoga) is what your desire to kill has brought to you... your own son's well being... something that cost you the most precious coin of all. (grabs Michiko's collar as Michiko's eyes fill with fear) LOOK at him...how does it feel to have destroyed something so precious? TELL me...
Michiko: (wavering) I... that's not fair...
Nodoka: LIKE HELL IT IS! (slaps Michiko across the face) How does it feel, to look at possibly the best thing you could have ever amounted to laying before you, crumpled at your feet because of something so petty? The side of your house?
Michiko: (tears welling up in her eyes) HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?
Nodoka: Be silent. You don't impress me. You had to attack with a mortal blow like that one... your husband even said it himself, what was it? That he was the same age as your son? Quite a cruel twist of fate, don't you think? (turns to look at Ranma, and whispers) Ranma... (to Michiko) You shouldn't be complaining...
[Kasumi and Dr. Tofu head over towards Ranma and Ryoga. Dr. Tofu turns Ryoga over.]
Dr. Tofu: Hm. (looks over Ryoga fro a long time) I think he might be breathing... let me see... (takes out a stethoscope and holds it to Ryoga's chest) Yes, (Michiko gasps) barely.
Kasumi: What about Ranma, Dr. Tofu? (pulls Ranma to her so that his head is resting on her lap)
Akane: Here, let me.. (pulls Ranma to her lap and begins to stroke his hair)
Dr. Tofu: Okay, now I'll check Ranma.. (puts the stethoscope to Ranma's chest and listens intently) I ...can't hear a thing.
Akane: (crying) That's impossible! Ryoga's okay, why can't Ranma be? (looks to Dr. Tofu and pleads) CHECK AGAIN!
Dr. Tofu: Uh, okay... (Akane backs away from him and he udders a sigh of relief) Let- HEY! Here's the problem! the stethoscope's broken!
[Everyone **TRIPLE FACE-FAULTS** and Dr. Tofu wipes a sweat bead off of his forehead.]
Nabiki: Oh, please. Not now.
Akane: (eyes widen) Ranma! RANMA! OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY? (hugs Ranma to her chest, not realizing what she is doing)
Ranma: (coughing a bit) Ak-Akane... (realizes what his head is resting on) AKANE?! (gets a bloody nose) ... ... ... ... (coughs) Owh, it hurts.. (clutches his stomach) I feel like toast...
Akane: (ignores the blood on her chest) ...ssh, be quiet. You need to rest.
Akihiro: (looks at Ryoga and kneels next to him) My son...
Michiko: Ryoga, please be all right. (notices that his chest is gently rising and falling) Ryoga? (watches him breathe, and cries softly) I'm so sorry...
Scene: Akane and Ranma's room. Akane is sitting over Ranma as she watches him wake up.
Akane: You feeling okay?
Ranma: Yeah. (puts his hand on his head) Except that I've got this horrible head ache.
Akane: Well, good.
Ranma: So, how's Ryoga doing?
Akane: It was wierd... he just mysteriously disappeared. Isn't that right, P-Chan?
Ranma: (rolls his eyes) Oh.
Voice 1: Ranma!
Voice 2: Ranma-Honey!
Voice 3: Ranma-Sweetums!
Akane: (turns around to see the window shatter. Shrouds of glass fly in through the window, and some slice through Akane's mattress) MY BED!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO-
[Akane is interrupted by Shampoo, Ukyo, and Kodachi, who are fighting for attention from Ranma.]
Shampoo: Ranma! We thought you dead!
Ukyo: Oh, I'm so happy that you're okay!
Kodachi: Oh, my heart just shattered at the thought of you perishing, Ranma.
[Enter Dr. Tofu.]
Dr. Tofu: What's all the racket in here coming from? (looks at Shampoo, Kodachi, and Ukyo.) Listen, if you want Ranma to recover fully, you have to let him rest now... come on, let's let him sleep... (herds the three girls out of Ranma and Akane's room, against their protests) bye guys.
[Exit Dr. Tofu, Shampoo, Ukyo, and Kodachi.]
Akane: You don't mind going back to sleep, do you?
Ranma: Not really, I'm actually kinda tired.
Akane: Well, all right, good night. (goes to turn off the light, and remains standing) Sleep well.
Ranma: Okay. (looks at Akane in the dark) Aren't you going to sleep?
Akane: Oh, well, it's just that my bed is now shredded by all that glass from my window. I-I'll just, uh sleep on the floor...
Ranma: Hey, here, you can have my futon, I'll sleep on the floor.
Akane: No, you need it more than me-
Ranma: (in haste) Well, we can share. That is, if you don't mind sleeping next to me...
[P-Chan squeals in disapproval, and Ranma glares at him.]
Akane: (slowly) W-w-well, uh (swallows dryly) o-okay...
[Akane gets under the covers next to Ranma and lays on her back.]
Ranma: You comfortable?
Akane: Yeah, it's warm. (P-Chan sqeals loudly and leaves Akane's room)
Ranma: Good night, Akane.
Akane: Good night, Ranma.
Scene: The middle of the night at the Tendo Dojo. The entire household, with Dr. Tofu, Shampoo, Ukyo, and Kodachi head up the stairs.
Shampoo: We see Ranma now?
Dr. Tofu: Yes, but we have to be quiet because Akane may be asleep, too.
Ukyo: No problem.
Kasumi: All right now, everyone has to keep quiet... (opens the door and gasps, along with everyone else.)
[Everyone looks at Ranma and Akane as the both of them sleep. Akane is resting her head on Ranma's shoulder and Ranma has his arm around Akane's waist.]
Kodachi: Oh, Ranma... (sobs and runs out of the dojo. Ukyo and Shampoo follow, sobbing)
Nabiki: Talk about sexual healing...
Kasumi: (blushing) NABIKI! You shouldn't joke about such a thing! They should wait until they're married! Oh no!
Dr. Tofu: Well I think it's a little too late... (looks at Soun and Genma, who are dancing around Nodoka and laughing gleefully)
Nodoka: (laughing) My, I guess this is a good thing...
Nabiki: Dr. Tofu--
[Enter Kuno, who busts through a nearby wall, with his bokken in his hand.]
Kuno: Salutations, Nabiki Tendo, my love! (Hears rustling and looks over at Ranma and Akane) What are those two doing?
Nadoka: They appear to be fighting... do they always sleep like this?
[Akane swings her arms out and Ranma dodges as he turns on his side.]
Genma: Well, Ranma always was a restless sleeper...
Ryoga: As is Akane...
Soun: (yelling at Ryoga) HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT, RYOGA?
Ryoga: (stammering) I- Ranma told me... yeah, heh heh...
Nabiki: (nose scrunches up) Anyway, what are you doing here, Kuno?
Kuno: I wanted to inquire about the current calm state of Dr. Tofu.
Nabiki: (looking to Dr. Tofu) Yeah, what's the deal? Why aren't you spazzing at the sight of Kasumi?
Dr. Tofu: Gee, I don't know...
[Kasumi laughs and sqeezes his shoulder, causing his glasses to fog up and causing him to jump all over the room.]
Nabiki: A pressure point?
Kasumi: Why, yes... (Catches him and gives his shoulder another squeeze) Isn't this fun?...Oh my...
Dr. Tofu: I'm so tired...
Kasumi: I'll take you to the clinic, Dr. Tofu...
Dr. Tofu: Well...okay... I think I have to call my mother, anyway...
Kasumi: Humm...and why is that?
Nabiki: You'll know soon enough...
[Exit Kasumi and Dr. Tofu]
Nodoka: Let's leave them....
[The rest of the group leaves, except Kuno and Nabiki]
Nabiki: I don't belive they finally did it...
Kuno: Let us go, my love...
Nabiki: Where are we going in the middle of the night?
Kuno: To the Dojo...I would like to share more of my craft with thou...
Nabiki: Oh you mean we get to play with that stick!! (Points to his Bokken)
Kuno: Whatever you wish, my love...
[The two leave the room, as Ranma and Akane continue to sleep. ]
Well, we're done! That's it! YAAAAAY! Hah hah! We hoped you liked it! Look for solo stories done by either one of us. We may collaborate again, but only the future will tell.... Love and Kisses, Liz & Laura.
"Hey, Laura, we should ask them to E-Mail us and tell us what they think of the series!"
"Yeah, okay, since they read all of the stuff, why not? Do you wanna talk?"
"Sure, >ahem< If you liked the Ranma ½ Omega series, tell us and we'll do the whole thing in story form! ^_^"
"Oh, maaaan, here we go again..." >thunk<
"Laura? Laura, get up... uh, heh heh heh, thanks for reading! Be sure to mail both of us and tell us what you think, 'kay? Reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org and... Laura, aren't you gonna say your address? Laura? WAKE UP!!! Oh, well. Reach her at email@example.com. Buh-bye!"